an2netluv

This hasn't been the most pleasant of weeks. It's been mostly misses instead of hits. But that's okay, sh*t happens. That's why sometimes you welcome whatever sliver of happiness comes your way.

And today that sliver comes in a pint. Look what we got today.

I love that it's not chocolate. :D They got my middle initial wrong, though. It's Y!

Hope you guys are having a good day! Me, not so much, but at least I have ice cream to get me through it.

an2netluv

I'm going to get a bit serious here.

I have this ongoing debate inside my head. ON one hand, wanting to do great at my job, build a name for myself as a writer, and grow in terms of the kind output I produce. I want to achieve a lot of things and I know I still have a lot to learn. Much to learn. In order to do that, I know I have to spend a long time in this industry. Think Miranda Priestly minus the evil and the nasty divorces. Or Andrea Sachs. Yeah, definitely Andrea Sachs.

On the other hand, I also have this dream of having a family and being a Stepford Housewife. Building a home, labeling my containers, making breakfast, picking up the kids from school, all while still staying beautiful and healthy. Hahaha. In short, I have dreams of being a modern Betty Draper. Well, minus the cigarettes and the shrink.

I remember one afternoon during training, when I was still a member of the UP Pep Squad, my friends and I were talking about future careers and whatnot. I told them that I wanted to work and have a career but ultimately, maybe after a few years on my chosen field, I wanted to be a housewife. No, a homemaker. I could just imagine myself spending all day at home, fixing our house, cooking, reading, and gardening. All the domesticated things you do for your husband and family. I know that I'll be able to do a lot of stuff and be productive even when I don't have a "job."

Then, one of my friends, Trina, said, "Oo naman, kasi para ka naman talagang mommy, e." I was flattered with what she said. She went on to explain that I had the qualities of a mom and a homemaker. Hahaha. I was so happy about it that I still remember it until now. Maybe it was because of the fact that I was our batch head, and I just really wanted to take care of things. Even back in high school, some of my friends called me "mader." They still do.

On the flipside, while I was at choir practice also some years back, I told my choir friends about that homemaker dream. One of my choir pals was taken aback and said, "But I always thought of you as a career woman." Maybe it was because they've known me to be serious about my studies.

Now I don't see anything wrong with being a career woman and a homemaker. I'm pretty sure I can handle that. Lots of empowered women do it nowadays. The only concern I have is that it requires a lot of will power and discipline for you to balance both roles. And right now, I don't know if I'm up for it.

I love the adrenaline rush I feel when I'm working. The different kinds of people I meet, the stories I hear and write about, plus all the creative ideas that we get to churn out. I love being outside and just exploring and observing, and I love the fulfillment every time an issue is put to press. Add to that my dream of having a book published, fiction or otherwise.

But I also yearn for the days when I can just spend time opening cookbooks and making hearty meals, or decorating my place and hosting parties for friends, or play with my future kids and the family dog.

I know that's it's not a decision that I have to make right away, I still have a lot of years left to mull things over. Plus, you never know when necessity will come bearing its weight. With the recession and difficulty to get jobs, I'm really lucky I have one that I love and pays well. So I'm not complaining really.

I'm just really one paranoid young woman who can't stop dreaming about her tomorrow.